So I think as long as you’re dating somebody and you keep the half an eye open for others, this is really a problem. Because you’ll keep on asking yourself all the time: Is this good enough? And when you go on online dating, humanity looks amazing; everybody’s so wonderful and thoughtful and loves poetry and running and hiking. I think if you date and still remain online at the same time, that’s a really bad recipe for success.
#relationships #love #commitment
It can be painful to watch someone you have loved (continue to love – at least the idea of her) do things that you support, would feel proud of, would make you care about them all the more. Because it’s a reminder that you’re no longer “allowed” to care in the ways you want, to show that care, to have it reciprocated in the ways you would need.
— what would you say, would i be able, capable to get let’s say Vanadzorian girl, from, as it’s assumed, average patriarchal family, who used to, learned the traditional male role model from her father, to get in to relationship with me?
— Yes, you can, but… well, it depends from her age.
— You mean, if she’s young, and has no experience, she might fall in love with me?
— No, no way, if she’s young. But if she’s old, and desperate to find…
— Okay, I see your point. Thank you.
— You know, actually I thought that no, average Vanadzorian girl could consider you - you have a good profession, you earn enough money, more than average Vanadzorian guy, who drives bus would…
— Do not continue. Thank you.
— What did you want from me? I am sincere.
— Yes, thank you.
romantic relationships are not thread safe. take care of critical sections.
modern girlfriend tasks
and boyfriend tasks
— endlessly depressing about someone you lost is also some way of neglecting or not valuing the ones who love you.
humans are not perfect. that is why relationships (with humans) are not compatible with perfectionism.
#relationships #humans #perfectionism #compatibility
there is a call, and callback, there is a tease and teaseback.
#callback #programming #relationships
— there are no holes on your gloves anymore. — hm? — you have a new girlfriend?
he came to our room and asked what can i or my co-workers suggest as a theme for his phd researh. they became excited and got engaged in the process of inventing a research topic.
i think making someone’s homework is not as bad as suggesting a research topic. and asking for one is the same as asking what he should write about, if he’s a writer, or what should he paint, if he’s a painter. you’ve got the idea.
and what’s even more amazing is that he didn’t even think that asking questions like that, and especially answering that questions is not something fair.
i mentioned that i do not ask for themes for my photo or IT projects because i do what i am interested in. i didn’t even think ‘what to do?’. if i remember it right he said that i am hypocrytical, because i talk about free software, but keep my ideas away from others. sigh.
#homework #research #relationships #people
i believe the solution to these and some other unpleasant treatment, is to evaporate yourself from the scene. you don’t want to fight, right? but you don’t want to be treated that way? if you are not available, you won’t be treated bad, and you won’t be forced to fight back. i prefer to be just out of this. to not play those games i don’t like.
#relationships #people #games
to merry. relationship guide from acquaintance to civil registry. it’s time to act!
#bookstore #psychology (yes it was in psychology department) #book #relationships #guide #love #manual #marriage
Today I have watched Woody Allen’s “Irrational man” film at the “Moscow” cinema theatre in Yerevan. (: And now I am sitting at my balcony, it is raining outside, and I feel cosy writing this post.
I believe Woody is a great director. He knows people very well. And he tries to make deep works. Alas, not often people notice that. There were only 7 couples at the screening. I think it’s not a coincidence that Woody gave up trying to get money for films in USA. He works in Europe now. I just checked, surprisingly, this movie was produced in USA. This situation makes me think about how to make good films in case of free market? My usual guess is that when you have big enough market, then you have enough minority, which will pay for good films, thus they can be produced. However, it seems that even USA market is not big enough.
Whatever, this is a film about a man, who spent almost all of his life in the struggle for fairness. And he paid high price for it - deaths of close people, suffered a serious illness. Eventually he got despair, depression. He failed to make world a better place.
In particular because he was struggling by peaceful means. While the world around him was struggling against him with not very fair, peaceful means. That’s how fair meed fails.
Now this man decides to make something against the cruel system. Some small, but important thing. The difference is that he feels that he exhausted all the peaceful and legal ways to make a change. He decides to act illegally. And he thinks he can win. However the film is about that he cannot win, that fairness cannot win in this world.
Even if the world consists of beautiful and clever amazing girls around who think they believe in fairness.
So he confesses to his girl under the pressure, by having the naive belief that she can understand him. Wasn’t she understanding before? She had so much empathy for his past privations. Of course girl does not understand him. Firstly, I believe, because she is too young. And secondly, because that is not her struggle in reality. It only seems cool to be around someone who has seen life. Yes, there was a disadvantage - he considered himself a looser. However he very soon got back to life, because he got back to struggle for fairness. And she naively thought that she made him back by her “love”. And as we saw, she was unable to accept the man who fights now. She returned to her nice guy former boyfriend, whom she dumped for the philosopher previously, and who did not show any sign of concerns about humanity, justice, etc. Yes, he could buy a ticket for a political satire. That’s what every decent person should do. Buy a ticket and enjoy politics in the theatre.
May be she was unable to accept him, because she did not love him. Or she was in love more with her perception of him, not the real him, who values many other things, not only pretty young girls. He wasn’t loved by the woman who wanted to get to Spain either. They both were just using him to satisfy personal needs. Why would he take that woman to Spain. What for? Why cannot he find other one in Europe? And why he is sure she won’t dump him in Spain to find someone even more convenient? Does she deserve to be taken there? Because he believes in people.
May be the difference between these women was that the young was not aware of her motives, but the older was. She clearly had known what does she need. And she would not pass the philosopher in to the hands of police, not because of her values, but because she eventually found someone convenient.
Also, this movie is about our inability to distinguish between situations where we have to be honest, and where we don’t. This is what the philosopher stressed right in the beginning of the movie by asking his students if they would tell the police about the thief who is hiding at the neighbour’s flat, or not. Then he challenged them with the question if they would tell Nazis about Frank’s family, just for the sake of honesty.
Roy, young boyfriend of the girl, welcomes her back. However I believe she deserves a the other outcome. It’s not fair when people get positive reinforcement for negative actions. Russians have this tale about broken through. That tale is about fairness. Because those, who don’t get negative reinforcement, take people for granted and tend to continue to abuse their friendship.
I believe Woody makes films very close to real life. Indeed, that guy would accept her back. Without even one salty word. But this time. Not the next.
Also, this abandoned husband. He said: “think again” to her. What about? He had to say “go to hell”. But he did not.
Both of them, the boy and the husband may think that they got lucky. However I believe they’ve missed a chance to know who is their real friend, and who is not. If they wanted to see.
The other question is - do they really need a friend? A close person they can trust? Or they need a cool chick/man who will take to Spain/etcetera? Also, the men. Who do they need?
Roy will surround that girl with love and kindness, will make everything for her to feel comfortable and cosy. Will she answer equally? I doubt it. Because it’s not clear she can love at all.
May be nobody is able to love, just people find convenient variants, coinciding interests. I don’t know.
Woody skilfully exposes people’s behavioural patterns. Patterns, we often don’t notice ourselves. Or even if we do we have no strength or will to behave differently.
That is when I think about how many similarities people have. Not only exterior similarities. And how predictable are they.
I have noticed “The Idiot” and Hanna Arendt’s name in the frame for a short time. It seems Allen loves Dostoevsky, it is not a first time he refers to him. May be his works will be taught in the future, just like today Dostoevsky’s works are taught or considered as must read, who knows.
#cinema #movie #woody_allen #irrational_man #review #thoughts #people #dostoevsky #hanna_arendt #existentialism #philosophy #understanding #crime #justice #struggle #fairness #patterns #script #love #relationship #relationships #humans #usa #europe #culture #market #freedom
if you want to make something, what you do, good, then may be you should not sometimes do that.
there are people, be they acquaintances, business or relationship partners, who don’t understand, don’t value, don’t appreciate the way we do that. and we do that that way in order to make something good, to make good work, to make things better.
well, they may need something else. does it make sense to make what they want if that’s not good? i don’t think so.
i don’t want to endeavour for something i won’t like after all. no, it’s better to make something good and don’t waist time.
#makers #design #good #taste #business #relationships #people #freedom
This is why we’re attracted to people who don’t want us. We know they’re not into it from the gate. We pretend to be surprised later when we find ourselves betrayed and they leave after an intense but fairly short stay. They fit perfectly into our ego’s plan: I will not be loved. The reason that nice, available people seem boring to us is because they bust us. The ego equates emotional danger with excitement, and claims that the nice, available person isn’t dangerous enough. The irony is that the opposite is true: available people are the ones who are dangerous, because they confront us with the possibility of real intimacy. They might actually hang around long enough to get to know us. They could melt our defenses, not through violence but through love. This is what the ego doesn’t want us to see. Available people are frightening. They threaten the ego’s citadel. The reason we’re not attracted to them is because we’re not available ourselves.
“A Return to Love”, Marianne Williamson
#love #relationships #ego #people #a-return-to-love #marianne-williamson #quote
Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That’s why it’s a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can’t handle the truth.
from Engineers Explained
#engineers #truth #tecchnology #customers #romantic #people #relationships
#ինժեներ #ինժեներներ #հարաբերություններ #ճշմարտություն #ազնվություն #մարդիկ #տեխնոլոգիաներ
#relationships #հարաբերություններ #լուսանկարներ #photo