2018-11-11-3346515

i have deleted my twitter. created it in june 2017. to stay in touch with local community. from envy, i saw people who know each other, who socialize online, and that’s where the envy were coming from. I also wanted to socialize, and be part of the community. to not feel disconnected.

if there is a discussion, i also want to be able to be heard. may be i have a good argument, nobody else has? may be not, all arguments are already known to anyone? but then i want to express myself regarding of what is directly around me. not in the world. not about the people who fight for their rights in europe or states. but about the coming elections in my country? about the political system i have to live in. about the questions regarding trash management in my city? about the #nkpeace or processes at our borders where people die very often?

and when i express myself on diaspora, nobody hears me. local community is too small. and i don’t hear “them”, because diaspora community does not represent the local society. so we don’t or cannot have discussion. may be we already agree on many things. that does not leave the place to discuss. it’s like, i’ve heard that there is a such political situation/problem/discussion, and I stand near the mirror, and tell myself what I think. How can I think something of it, if I don’t even know the context as much, as the people who socialize?

so anyway, i had a seizure of not participating in the deal, de facto deal, that centralized services suggest. i get rid of the “celebration of life” and communications with locals online, and go back to the state I was for years before that. this leads to, sorry for this word, marginalization, isolation and being disconnected from locals, and local publicly important themes.

i’ll try to compensate, may be, this, by staying connected with foreigners here, people what have different contexts, other level problems, etc, which may lead me to even more not understanding the atmosphere around me. I don’t know how long will it take, but I guess, it took years last time, why not now?

still, I don’t think rare real life connections will also contribute to me not being disconnected. So this is it. I know it’s tough, but it is also hard to participate by the suggested rules. I also don’t know if I’ll be active here, I have two jobs now, and get pretty exhausted.

still lets see.

and i keep telegram for now. if i cut it off, i will loose even a couple of remaining contacts i have, in, lets say, small film photography community which has a telegram group.

բնօրինակ սփիւռքում(եւ մեկնաբանութիւննե՞ր)

պիտակներ՝ nkpeace