I was watching a video about someone’s camera collection, and I recognized a thought I had many years.
The tool is a very important thing. It is complete, because it has a purpose and it can serve it.
The camera can make photos. Someone may use it to make “art”, someone to document something, someone to play. It absolutely does not matter.
The camera can make photos and that’s it. The qualities and properties and purposes of those photos are not important. The camera is complete because it is a tool that can make something.
And I love making tools. Making photos is a nice game to play, but you never know if your photo has any value. But the camera always has value because it is a tool that can serve to make photos. It’s purpose is not creating this or that kind of photos, good or bad, artistic or random snapshots. It’s purpose is to make sure the film or the sensor have been exposed to the light for the necessary time. That’s it. And by that it is complete. So creating a tool has sense, and creating it is motivating.
When you create something with the tool, let it be the hammer, and you create a chair, you never know if your chair is any good. But the hammer is important.
So I think that I love making tools. I want to make tools.
Human existence is overwhelmingly sad. It does not matter what choice do I make. Anyway the life is sad. And making choices in order to “improve” life sounds funny to me. Me feeling a bit more or less good or not so much, is so unimportant. So by making the choice why would I consider that? People who are so concerned about their well being are so funny. They are ready to fight, they get angry or sad because they did not get something, because they feel something is not fair, or because they don’t care what is fair. And in any case everything is so unimportant.
May be it’s better that we can be sad. It’s better than being a bunch of self obsessed violent monkeys, who would never get sad because of what they or other violent stupid monkeys do.
May be it’s better to understand how spoiled is everything and be sad, rather than feel good.
Vegetarians say, that by not eating meat we vote, contribute to the existence of less animals, therefore less animals are suffering. Not only when they die, they suffer when they live.
So by following that logic, if we don’t want to contribute to human suffering, we can vote for that by not propagating. If you don’t have kids, they won’t experience this overwhelming sadness.
if there are no humans, they don’t exist and they don’t suffer. humans are suffering creatures.
Adams was writing that some ask if getting out of oceans was a good idea? Yes, life in the ocean is easier and less painful.
But still, I don’t get it. Is it better to be a dolphin than a human? Because of dolphin’s experience? But it’s not important. Experience is not important. Just someone got more or less lucky with the way of life at some time frame.
Then is it better to be a hydra than to be a human? Is it better to have a brain? Is it better to be a stupid human? Why life happens, and is it good, that there are some animals that live and die, nobody knows why. Then does it matter what language we speak? Does anything that ever seemed significant or important to me really matter? And what matters? And what’s really? What’s important?
I don’t know why do I write this, and what’s the sense of getting to this after what i’ve been written above. I want to tell you that I feel so much pain when I return to Armenia. It is so insignificant, of course. Why would my feelings be important?
There are gorgeous mountains and gorges. Breathtaking landscapes. Beautiful houses. With dark winodws. Roofs with the holes. Empty houses. Nodoby lives there. You can see that almost nobody lives there. It is such a lonely place. The owner of the flat in Georgia described his life “I live in a God’s gifted country and city”. Then I would say I live in a god’s forgotten country. Some place nobody wants to look at it, because it’s so sad. Easier to forget that it exists. Get rid of it. Hide it under the carpet. Get out of it. Never remember.
I don’t know why do I love life. It’s amusing. It’s cute. I want to photograph it. And I want to make tools for someone. Because tools are usable. What they do with the tool - I don’t know. But the tool itself is an important thing. This was a reprise. Take care.