.----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |-----.-----------------------------------------------------------------.----| |-----| *************************************************************** |----| |-----| Eeeek BITS! is a Trademark of Eeeek Publishing Co, ALL Issues |----| |-----| are Copyright date of issue K.R.Taghadossi / J.L.Black 1991! |----| |-----| |----| |-----| ALL RIGHTS RESERVED! |----| |-----| |----| |-----| WARNING: Changing the contents in ANY MANNER violates Federal |----| |-----| & International Copyright Laws. You MUST be registered w/B.E. |----| |-----| in order to have Eeeeks displayed on your BBS. Eeeeks is FREE |----| |-----| - To register, call (213)-371-3734 or (213)-370-9464 24 hrs. |----| |-----| *************************************************************** |----| |-----`-----------------------------------------------------------------'----| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |An Eeeek Publishing Company Publication. Issue:August 4th 1991 | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE KK KK PC Pursuit-able by /CALAN! | | EE EE EE EE KK KK | | EE EE EE EE KK KK BBBBB I TTTTT SSSS | | EE EE EE EE KK KK B B I T S | | EEEEEE EEEEEE EEEEEE EEEEEE KKKK B B I T S | | EE EE EE EE KK KK BBBBB I T SSSS | | EE EE EE EE KK KK B B I T S | | EE EE EE EE KK KK B B I T S | | EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEE KK KK BBBBB I T SSSS (tm) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | (c) 1990/1991 K.R.Taghadossi / J.L.Black - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED !!! | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |<><><><><><><><><><><><><>| Send All Submissions, Comments, Subscriptions | |<>.--------------------.<>| to: EEEEK PUBLISHING COMPANY | |<>|Brought To You By: |<>| P.O. Box 331 | |<>| |<>| Manhattan Beach, CA. 90266 | |<>| |<>| Or Call: (213)-371-3734 3/12/24 N,8,1 | |<>| |<>| If you are registering to have Eeeeks on your | |<>| |<>| BBS, please include: YOUR BBS NAME, YOUR BBS | |<>| |<>| PHONE #, TYPE OF SOFTWARE, # LINES, MAX BAUD, | |<>`--------------------'<>| APPX # OF USERS, YOUR *REAL* NAME,ADDRESS & | |<><><><><><><><><><><><><>| PHONE #, & WHERE YOU WILL BE RETRIEVING EEEEKS! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | WHAT'S INSIDE THIS WEEK'S EEEEKS | >>|<< |---------------------------------| |----------------------------------| >>|<< | Little Known Facts! - Page 5 | | It's Never Too Late To Scream... | >>|<< |---------------------------------| | Eeeek BITS !! (tm) | >>|<< | Headline BITS! - Page 6 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |This publication protected by U.S.| >>|<< | WeIrD nEwS! - Page 7 | |& International Copyright Laws! NO| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |Part may be changed or reproduced | >>|<< | Law's Beyond Murphy - Page 8 | |w/o written permission from the | >>|<< |---------------------------------| |Publishers! Eeeeks is FREE but you| >>|<< | Be PercentageWISE! - Page 9 | |MUST REGISTER to have it on a BBS!| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |Call B.E. (213)-371-3734 & contact| >>|<< | I MYTHED that One! - Page 10 | |The Editor #5. European BBSes,see| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |Bottom of NEXT PAGE for info! | >>|<< | The Joker's Lair! - Page 11 | |----------------------------------| >>|>< |---------------------------------| |>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>| >>|<< | Plate Fate! - Page 12 | |<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |>>> (c)1991 K.R.Taghadossi >>>| >>|<< | Quotes 'N' Notes! - Page 13 | |<<< & J.L. Black <<<| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |>>> All Rights Reserved!! >>>| >>|<< | It's the Truth! - Page 14 | |<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>| >>|<< | Poetry -*- Drawer! - Page 15 | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| | Accustom to Customs! - Page 16 | >>|<< | True BLUEpers! - Page 24 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| | Commentary Corner! - Page 17 | >>|<< | ODD BITS! - Page 25 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| | World BITS! - Page 18 | >>|<< | Political Quiz! - Page 26 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| | Ridiculous Records! - Page 19 | >>|<< | Pigeon Holed! - Page 27 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| | Its A Mystery! - Page 20 | >>|<< | Strrrrrrrange BITS!.- Page 28 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| | The Latest In Review - Page 21 | >>|<< | Strrrrrrrange BITS! - Page 29 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| | How It Works! - Page 22 | >>|<< | Strrrrrrrange BITS! - Page 30 | |----------------------------------| >>|>< |---------------------------------| | Metaphysical BITS! - Page 23 | >>|<< | Distributor's List! - Page 31 | |----------------------------------| >>|<< |---------------------------------| |**********************************| >>|<< |:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::| |*| Australian |*| >>|<< |:: European ::| |*| BBSes KAKADU KONNECTION |*| >>|<< |:: BBSes POMPEII EUROPE: ::| |*| Call: +61 89 480-700 |*| >>|<< |:: Call: +31 340621400 ::| |**********************************| >>|<< |:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Little Known Facts! | Internationally Speaking... | * Page 5 * | |---------------------' `----------------| | * The toothbrush was invented in the 1770's by a prison inmate in England. | | * It's estimated that Stonehenge took 33 MILLION man-hours to build. | | * There is only 1 single tree in the entire 600 mile desert The Sahara. | | * In the town of Pushkar, India, it is a "sin" to kill a fly. | | *The city gate of Ayassoluk Turkey is made of only tombstones & coffin lids| | * Chameleons change colors not for camouflage, but to show emotions. | | * The oldest statue of humans was in a Swiss cave, made 70,000 yrs ago. | | * The hourglass was originally created to limit the length of sermons. | | * The Standley Chasm in the MacDonnell Mountains of Australia is 20 feet | | wide & 500 feet deep & is so dark that standing at the bottom, a man | | can only see stars in the daytime. | | * The Cathedral of Barcelona in Spain took 664 years to build. | | * A restaurant in France serves a gourmet meal for dogs for $9.00 | | * There is some ice in the Antarctica that dates back 600,000 years. | | * Mr. Otis invented the elevator without ever working it out on paper. | | * Ab£l Hassan, Arab poet, invented the hour - he divided the day and night | | into 24 equal parts in the 13th century. | | * There is a town in Pennsylvania named: Slovenskanarodnapodpornajednota - | | it has 11 residents, 1 mailbox, 1 pay phone & is 500 acres big. | | * San Francisco,has more restaurants per square mile than any other US city| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Headline BITS! | | * Page 6 * | |---------------------' `----------------| | * Find Skeletons Searching For Geologist | | * Most Accidents Happen in the Bedroom | | * Police Catch 3-armed Bandits | | * Dog Spots Wandering Prisoner | | * 55 Are Hurt In Nice Riot | | * Crooks Lift $40,000 Worth of Ladies' Skirts | | * Police Stoned In Hartford | | * Poultrymen Hear Egg Talk | | * Dinner For Six Flies In Concord Window | | * Parents To Meet On Traffic Light | | * Police Rally To Aid Cop In Home Burning | | * Sets Fire, Diets In It | | * Deaf Man to Get New Hearing In Court | | * Bar Association to Name New Stiff Members | | * Campbell In Soup Again | | * Sues Bride for Four Mouths | | * Jail Terms For Steady Dunkers | | * Life Term Extended For Convict | | * Criminal Court Opens Tuesday With Murder | | * Hershey Bars Protest | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | WeIrD nEwS! | It COULD Happen To YOU! | * Page 7 * | |---------------------' `----------------| | It seems the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department wanted to test the | | capabilities of their bomb sniffing dogs. In an attempt to do so, they | | planted « a pound of plastic explosives in an unsuspecting Eastern Airline | | passenger's luggage. The dogs did their part quite well, however the | | humans messed up; they forgot to take the explosives OUT of the passenger's| | luggage, and additionally forgot to make note of whose luggage it was. | | Two weeks later the police realized their boo-boo and made a frantic search| | to get back their little surprise. [ed: Well, as we always say...love them | | boys in "blew."] | | | | Zurich, Switzerland: A traveling salesman (yes this is a TRUE story!) was | | in a Zurich hotel room waiting to see a customer the next morning. After | | a short while, he decided to try something new & called an Escort service | | to order a little female companionship. Thirty minutes later, a very | | lovely, shapely woman in skimpy clothing knocked on his door - you can | | imagine his surprise when he saw it was his wife. This strange bit came | | out in a Swiss court during their divorce proceedings. The wife claimed | | this was the first time she had tried hooking to relieve her boredom while | | hubby was away, and Hubby claimed it was the first time he called an escort| | service as well. [ed: All we can say is "uh huh."...] | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Law's Beyond Murphy| | * Page 8 * | |--------------------' `----------------| | * Most of us don't sell out because nobody wants to buy. | | * The world meets nobody half way. | | * If nobody minds, then it really doesn't matter. | | * Any attempt to adjust the air conditioner will make it worse. | | * Never dive in a bikini | | * Crime would not pay if the government ran it. | | * UFO's are real; the Air Force is an illusion. | | * If not for the last minute, nothing would get done. | | * Humans will act rationally when all other possibilities have been | | exhausted. | | * A tax payer is: someone who does not have to take the civil service | | exam to work for the government. | | * Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another. | | * Reality is a hypothesis. | | * The leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip. | | * One who has a clear conscience has a foggy memory. | | * If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first class? | | * The universe is simple, it's the explanation that is complex. | | * Philosophically, I quest perfection; physically, I procrastinate. | | * A nut easy to crack is often empty. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |Be PercentageWISE! | This Week: A Look At Sex & Marriage...| * Page 9 * | |-------------------' `----------------| | The following statistics are according to the Unofficial U.S. Census by | | Tom Heymann. | | | | 11,130,000 couples meet in a social situation like parties. | | 43,407,000 married couples shower or bath together. | | 37,842,000 married couples go to hotels to be alone. | | 24,486,000 married couples watch X-Rated videos. | | 24,000,000 married couples make love outdoors. | | 53,535,300 married couples remain faithful to each other (about «) | | 40,310,000 Americans have been sexually abstinent in the last 12 months. | |160,512,000 Americans practice masturbation. | |155,040,000 Americans practice oral sex. | | 10,944,000 Americans practice sadomasochistic sex. | |141,031,064 Americans use pornographic materials. | | 1,669,000 Americans (at LEAST) have been unfaithful in marriage in the | | last two years. Of these: | | 878,157 were involved with a close personal friend. | | 411,365 were involved with a neighbor, co-worker or acquaintance| | 31,721 were involved with a prostitute. | | 332,397 were involved with a casual date or pick up. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | I MYTHed That One! | | * Page 10 * | |--------------------' `----------------| | | | MYTH: Mohawk Indians wore "Mohawk" haircuts. | | | | FACT: Mohawk Indians did not wear Mohawk haircuts. The haircut is so | | called in the United States; but in England it is called Mohican | | haircut. The Mohawks and Mohicans are two separate peoples. | | Mohawk's were Indians of the Iroquois League, living in Quebec | | and northern New York state. Hiawatha was a real Mohawk and one | | of the founders of the Iroquois League in 1570. Longfellow was | | wrong when he said Hiawatha was a Chippewa from Lake Superior | | region, "the shores of Gitche Gumee." | | Mohicans (Mohegans) lived in Connecticut and belonged to an assoc- | | iation of fifteen tribes along the Atlantic Coast. Warriors of | | this tribe association shaved their heads in the fashion of | | what we term a "Mohawk". The hair was made to stand up straight | | with the use of paint and bear's grease. So Mohicans wore Mohawks. | | Mohawks, on the other hand, preferred half-bald, half-long look, | | with hair on the unshaven side braided and feathers attached | | to the knots. Most statues of Indians of the Mohawk tribe clearly | | show this type of hair style. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | The Joker's Lair! | The Fine Art Of Punning... | * Page 11 * | |-----------------------' `----------------| | A couple went to extremes to get their son into an elite college. After | | all had been said and done, they spent nearly $100,000 on it. You can | | imagine their disappointment when all the got was a Quarterback. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? Seems he got a | | little behind in his work. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Why is it that the only direction a sneeze will travel is atchoo? | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Have you ever seen: a fox trot? a belly dance? a ski jump? a house fly? | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | When Dow Chemical Co made napalm, they were termed the Callous Dowboys. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | There once lived a court jester who drove everyone crazy with his constant | | pun-making. One day the king could stand it no longer. "Enough!" cried the | | king, "Hang the fool!" But as the noose was being drawn around the neck | | of the jester, the king had a change of heart; "I'll make you free on the | | condition that you never make another pun as long as you live." The | | jester replied "That I promise your majesty, No noose is good noose." | | So they hanged him. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Plate Fate! | | * Page 12 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | | | Some more personalized license plates that might make you smile: | | | | HAYSEED (ID) LO LIFE (MS) ITYBTY (IA) | | HNGOVR (TX) GRUBBY (IN) LEMON (OR) | | LEDFOOT (IA) MY DEBT (ID) SLO POK (LA) | | A WINO (WA) A WITCH (WA) AIRHEAD (WA) | | | | BIUSED (DE) belonging to a salesman no doubt. | | SHOD2GO (CA) A blacksmith perhaps? | | HAIRDU (OH) A hairdresser do you think? | | BOOKEM (NC) A Jack Lord lookalike or a cop! | | ADDUMUP (IA) Either an accountant or a math teacher. | | 4SUM (NC) Either someone who loves tennis doubles or someone you can buy! | | BEEFUP (IN) Perhaps a weight lifter or a cattle rancher | | SKI NUDE (VA) Someone who carries nudism too far. | | TRUST ME (IN) No doubt about it, an attorney, my last one I think. | | SELL HI (TX) Maybe a Texas oil man or a stock broker. | | UBUGME (ID) A really bad driver that we get in the way of on the road. | | BAAAA (MS) A wolf in sheep's clothing? | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Quotes 'N' Notes! | "Say Whhhhhhat??" | * Page 13 * | |--------------------' `----------------| | "It is always far more impressive when others discover your good qualities | | without your help." - Miss Manners, Judith Martin | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "Love is what you've been through with somebody." - James Thurber | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "Everything has been figured out except how to live." - Sarte | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not | | laugh is a fool." - George Santayana | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "For the upper-middle class, marriage is the only adventure left." | | - Author Unknown | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "Sometimes when you look in his eyes, you get the feeling someone else | | is driving." - David Letterman | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach | | flunked geography. - Robert Byrne | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | "The best way to keep one's word is not to give it." - Napoleon | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | It's The Truth! | | * Page 14 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | We have all seen the disclaimer, either in the credits of a movie, on | | television or even in a book. "Any resemblance to Persons living or Dead | | is Purely Coincidental". Well, it all began because John Wayne was | | going to make a movie. Now most of us would have loved having our life | | story put on screen but not so with U.S. Navy Commander Robert B. Kelly. | | When Commander Kelly heard about the movie John Wayne was to make portray- | | ing him, Commander Kelly was not only not thrilled but did in fact sue. | | What is more, he won his law suit. | | The movie was "They Were Expendable." It was made, but with John Wayne's | | character's name being changed to Rusty Ryan instead of Robert B. Kelly. | | The standard disclaimer also appeared at the end of the movie. | | Kelly stated in his lawsuit that the movie, "depicts me as headstrong, | | undisciplined, aggressive, resistant to orders and self seeking, and in | | relation to a U.S. Army nurse, as unduly amorous." The judge agreed but | | awarded Kelly only $3,000 in punitive damages; stating that since the | | movie had not been made and released there was, in truth, no harm done to | | Kelly's reputation. The judge also pointed out that Kelly's record | | suggested he was dutiful, modest, and patriotic. The disclaimer statement | | was put on the film. But beneath the disclaimer statement was another | | statement: Based on a book by Wm.L. White, a book using Kelly's real name. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Poetry * Drawer!|=========================================| * Page 15 * | |-----------------'================.-----------.============`----------------| |=========================.--------'"Farewell" `----------.==================| |=========================| By: George Gordon, Lord Byron |==================| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | Farewell! if ever fondest prayer | | | | | | | | `-----| | | | For other's weal availed on high, | | | | | | | `-------| | | | Mine will not all be lost in air, | | | | | | `---------| | | | But waft thy name beyond the sky. | | | | | `-----------| | | | 'Twere vain to speak, to weep, to sigh: | | | | `-------------| | | | Oh! more than tears of blood can tell, | | | `---------------| | | | When wrung from guilt's expiring eye, | | `-----------------| | | | Are in that word - Farewell! - Farewell! | `-------------------| |-|-|-------------------. `---------------------| |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| These Lips are mute, these eyes are dry; | |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| But in my breast and in my brain, | |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| Awake the pangs that pass not by, | |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| The thought that ne'er shall sleep again. | |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| My soul nor deigns nor dares complain, | |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| Though grief and passion there rebel: | |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| I only know we loved in vain; | |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-| I only feel - Farewell! - Farewell! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Accustom to Customs! | | * Page 16 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | | |*Most people accept the phrases, 'excuse me' or 'pardon me' as good manners.| | Either is a form of apologies for a simple transgression or often times, | | used in a sarcastic manner to let someone else know they have committed | | a transgression. But the original use of the words were more legal in | | use. They were created for canon and feudal law. In the thirteenth | | century the term 'excuse' was applied literally to 'removing the cause.' | | The meaning of which was to absolve the person of responsibility in a | | legal proceeding completely. 'Pardon,' to beg for a pardon meant the | | same thing, except to be pardoned by the church, not by the governor or | | a judge, or in some cases, a President. | | | |*The custom of the military salute dates back to medieval times. The | | legend goes that the knights would respectfully address the queen in | | this manner. It is said the knights did this to shield their eyes from | | the blinding beauty of the queen. The truth, and a more plausible | | explanation for the military salute is that the knights would raise their | | visors of their armor helmet to show they meant each other no harm. | | The gesture has become a recognized form in the military to display | | respect and no intent to harm to others of higher rank. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Commentary Corner! | | * Page 17 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | I find telecommunications an absolutely fascinating area. It never stops | | amazing me how small a world this really is after all. Just as a small | | example: A couple of weeks ago a friend called us. He lived 2 houses away | | from us when Eeeek BITS! was just started as a 1 page accessory for our | | own BBS. Seems his computer crashed on him shortly after we moved out of | | that Manhattan Beach neighborhood, and we lost contact with him. In the | | mean time, he & his family moved to Palo Alto (up in Northern California).| | He joined a BBS up in the Palo Alto area, one which happens to carry Eeeek| | BITS! and saw our name & new BBS #. He called and now we are back in touch| | again. (Ace Acting Dept or Simon Moon/Lloigor as he is known up there - | | everyone from your old haunts says HI!) Another example is how using the | | net system on one BBS, I ran into old friends back east! | | Yes, it is a small world when telecommunications gets involved. What irks| | me, though, is the misconception that BBSing is nothing more or less than | | an electronic "meet" market for getting "involved". The media still tends| | to portray us this way, and those who have never BBSed become skittish | | because of this. The truth is, BBSing (telecommunications) is nothing | | more than a way of interacting with others...communication. We need to | | spread the word that BBSing is MUCH more than getting someone to sleep | | with! Let's take the fear out of modeming once & for all! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | World BITS! | | * Page 18 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | | | * U.S. Supreme Court watch: Look for this case showing up at the U.S. | | Supreme Court for a final ruling. This week, August 13th, a federal | | judge will hear the first case to challenge Louisiana's law of prison | | terms of up to 10 years for any doctor who performs an abortion under | | any circumstances, unless for the life of the woman. The case, regard- | | less of the federal judges ruling is anticipated to appear on the docket | | of the U.S. Supreme Court. | |* Japan - Japanese auto makers will be forcing other auto makers back to | | the drawing board when it comes to the engine of vehicles. Honda has | | developed and will begin selling this fall a new engine that will | | increase fuel efficiency greatly and still promises to maintain the | | speed and pick-up so much desired. | |* Israel - Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir agreed last week to attend a | | Middle East Peace Conference, slated in October of this year. The | | entire plan has yet to be worked out but the first step to negotiations | | for peace have been taken. Shamir has placed specific restrictions on | | the conference, stating that he will not allow a Palestinian living in | | East Jerusalem to attend or will he talk with anyone who is associated | | with the PLO. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Ridiculous Records! | | * Page 19 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | LOWEST BIRTH WEIGHT: Marian Taggart was born 6-5-1938 weighing in at 10 oz.| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | TALLEST MAN: Robert Wadlow - 8 feet 11 1/10th inches (1918-1940) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | TALLEST WOMAN: Zeng Jinlian - 8 feet 1 3/4 inches. (1964-1982) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | HEAVIEST MAN: Jon Brower Minnoch - 1400 pounds. (1941-1983) | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LONGEST HAIR: Swami Pandarasannadhi - supposedly 26 feet long. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LONGEST BEARD: Hans Langseth of Norway - measured 17 « feet at his death. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LARGEST FEET: Haji Mohammad Alam Channa of Pakistan wears a size 22 sandal.| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LARGEST TUMOR: Taken from a woman in Texas in 1905, it weighed 328 pounds. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | LIGHTEST WEIGHT: Lucia Zarate - Weighed 13 pounds on her 20th birthday. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | MOST COINKY-DINKY BIRTHDATES: 5 children born to Mr & Mrs Ralph Cummings | | born in years:1952, 1953, 1956, 1961 & 1966 were all born on February 20th.| `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Its A Mystery! | | * Page 20 * | |----------------------' `----------------| |*A lady is found dead on the floor of her kitchen. Apparent cause of death,| | a knife wound to the heart. Yet the knife did not penetrate the clothing | | she had on and the blood on the knife, it was later discovered, was not | | hers. The coroner, who examined the body, concluded that death was | | instant when the knife penetrated the heart. The inner garment was blood | | stained but only slightly. Because death was instant, she could not have | | stabbed herself and then dressed. Since the blood on the knife did not | | match hers, was she murdered while nude and then dressed? Her age, 72, | | suggests it not likely. The wound was almost bloodless. No explanation | | has ever been given. | | | |* Another unexplained case happened in 1974 in Indianapolis, Indiana. At | | the end of the work day the people working for Dowling Construction Co. | | left work as normal and left a two and one half ton steel wrecking ball | | hanging from the crane some two hundred feet above the ground. The next | | day, when they returned to work, they discovered the steel wrecking ball | | gone. The police were called. They investigated the scene and found | | no clues or evidence as to how the wrecking ball was removed from the | | crane, save the ball missing. They attempted to search for the wrecking | | ball, it was never found. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | The Latest in Review | The Strange Case of Jeffrey Dahmer.| * Page 21 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | People in Milwaukee, people all over the world, are wondering what goes | | through the mind of a man like Jeffrey Dahmer. For those of you who don't | | know, Dahmer is the man arrested for torturing, killing & consuming at | | least 11 people. Dahmer is currently in jail, and his lawyer hopes to | | cop him an insanity plea. The question is not whether he is insane though.| | Anyone who lures young men to his apartment, tortures, kills, has sex with | | the corpses and then saves body parts to eat is unquestionably insane. | | The question is, what goes wrong with a person's mind that this behaviour | | is acceptable to them? Where does the need / desire to do these things | | come from? The following question is, all the evidence aside, Dahmer has | | been convicted of child molestation and is an alcoholic. He served time | | in prison for the molestation charge, and it is said when he came out, he | | was a very different, even more cold, person. It has also been stated | | that Dahmer is a homosexual who hates gays. (Isn't there a paradox there?) | | If he cops an insanity plea, what happens then? Does he stay in Jail | | until someone thinks his "good behaviour" is reason to parole him? Are we | | to house, feed and support someone like this? Will we let him out on the | | streets again eventually? | | We don't know what makes the mind of a criminally insane person, but we | | DO know that the question is NOT whether he is insane, but what to do now. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | How's It Work! | | * Page 22 * | |--------------------' `----------------| | | | We have all seen, if not own one ourselves, a credit card with a shiny | | strip on the back. The cards are called smart cards and we're going to | | tell you how it works. Inside the card and under the shiny strip is | | a microchip. It has the capability of doing much more than merely allowing| | payment of items or cash dispensed. It will record and store all purchases| | made with the card. Some cards even have the capability of holding the | | card holder's signature, picture, and medical history. | | The microchip built into the card is called a PROM or programmable read- | | only memory. The data stored cannot be changed. The chip's memory is | | accessed by the microprocessor. There are three zones in which data can | | be stored. The top zone stores data about the card holder. The middle | | zone contains records of the card holder's activities, purchases, cash | | withdraws etc. The last zone is called the secret zone and can not be | | accessed by the microprocessor. It contains the users password. Included | | in the PROM is a switch that is capable of being turned on or off. So | | when a user exceeds his credit or cash limit the card is turned off auto- | | matically. Or when it is stolen it can be turned off as soon as the owner | | reports the theft. It is much more secure than the personal identification| | number (PIN) card were data is stored on a magnetic stripe. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Metaphysical BITS! | By:Manfred | * Page 23 * | |---------------------' `----------------| | There is a philosophy which is applied to metaphysics, and it is one which | | you don't hear much about, because it is practiced by a secret group in | | small numbers. The philosophy centers around what they refer to as the 7 | | gates. The gates represent stages in the "total life", meaning beyond what| | we know on earth, even beyond reincarnation. The 6th gate represents life | | as we know it, and in order to pass through the seventh gate we must meet | | the demands of our souls. What these demands are, no one knows for sure, | | as I said - this is not talked about with outsiders to the group. The | | group has no name, holds no meetings, and most 'members' don't even ever | | meet. So what makes this group exist? According to them, it is a matter | | of where they are on the growth scale. They know each other when they | | meet, and they may never even speak. The philosophy of the seventh gate is | | complete faith. Many of us think we have complete faith, but in truth - | | that is something very hard to come by. Complete faith means knowing, not | | thinking, that everything has its purpose and that all things which must | | be will be...at their own appropriate time and space. It takes a long time| | to get to this point, in fact, the gate people believe that is what reinc- | | arnation is all about. The human life does not normally allow for all one | | needs to pass through the seventh gate, but then again, it is not supposed | | to. The point of this column? Just to let you know.-] Manfred [- | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | True BLUEpers! | | * Page 24 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | | | * Newscaster: "Illinois is one of the last remaining states to approve | | voting rights for eight-year-olds." | | * Announcer: "This year the government is issuing new forms for your | | External Revenue Tax...." | | * Announcer: "Stay tuned for the movie of the week, Irma La Douche." | | * Announcer: "This special network presentation on abortion is brought | | to you by Goodyear Rubbers....er ah, Goodyear Rubber Tires." | | * Radio newscaster: "Other stories in the news...Raiders Naders...oh God!| | that should be Nader's Raiders, turned their attention to beat selts..."| | * Announcer: on a story about Howard Hughes, "No other information was | | forthcoming from the Hughes spooksman." | | * Announcer: "Be sure to see 'Pretty Maids All In A Row,' headed by | | Rock Hudson and directed by Roger Vadim, the man who uncovered Brigitte | | Bardot and Jane Fonda." | | * Announcer: "And Richard Castellano recieved a nomination for best | | supporting actor for his performance in 'Livers and Other Strangers.'" | | * Commercial: "So, for those who think young, be sure you've stacked up | | with a Pepsi Sex pack....stopped up...stocked up with a Pipsi six | | pack..." | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | ODD BITS! | | * Page 25 * | |--------------------' `----------------| | FIREWALKING: A man walks barefoot across a hot bed of coals. How? | | | | The phenomenon has been investigated repeatedly, yet to no avail - there | | are only guesses as to how it is done. One explanation is that Firewalkers| | wet their feet (most do) and when the wet foot hits the coals, it instantly| | forms an insulating layer of steam. Vaporized perspiration from the foot | | may provide the same insulation effect. Naturally the effect doesn't last | | long, but then again, most firewalkers walk rather quickly over the coals. | | Another theory is that if the right rocks are used, they are porous enough | | and don't convey any heat or damage to the firewalker if he is able to | | walk quickly & lightly enough. Most Firewalking demonstrations use some | | kind of volcanic rock....a highly porous rock and poor heat conductor. | | It used to be thought that it was simply a "mind over matter" talent, | | however it is becoming obvious that it is indeed a learned and trained | | talent which amounts to little more than a well performed trick. | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | There is a town in Idaho called "Yellow Pine". It is buried deep in the | | mountainous Boise National Forest and is fifty-two miles away from the | | nearest town. Yellow Pine can be reached only by skiplane during winter, | | yet not one of the residents has even one single telephone. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Political Quiz! | |* Page 26 * | |------------------' `--------------| | | | 1. When Richard Nixon refused to appear before a congressional committee | | investigating Watergate, what privilege did he invoke? | | | | 2. What was the group of advisors called that President Franklin Roosevelt| | surrounded himself with? | | | | 3. Who was the only president to serve two nonconsecutive terms? | | | | 4. Which president was once governor of the Philippines? | | | | 5. Which president had the most congressional experience before his | | presidential election? | |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| |Answers: | |1. Executive Privilege | |2. The Brain Trust | |3. Grover Cleveland | |4. William Howard Taft | |5. Lydon B. Johnson | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Pigeon Holed! Or...|How I was Held Hostage By A Pigeon! | * Page 27 * | |--------------------' `----------------| | This is a true story - the names and places have been changed to protect | | the foolish (namely me!) A couple of years ago, I was held hostage by a | | crazed pigeon.I was washing the outside of my 2nd floor apartment's windows| | when a bird flew right at my face, and I mean that puppy was aiming for | | my nose! I managed to close the window just in time... the bird didn't | | care - he flew right into the pane of glass. At first I felt bad for this | | poor bird, until it started repeatedly flinging its little bird body up | | against the window pane. It must have hit the glass 7 times before it | | decided to quit, and instead perch its little self smack dab in front of my| | only door. Now I was trapped... I couldn't get out of my house because | | this insane bird wanted in. Then I got an idea. I got a big pan full of | | lukewarm water and opened the door just a crack and threw the water on the | | bird. It worked. He flew across to the condo next door and shook off... | | only to promptly fly back & sit at my door - waiting to get in. I tried it | | again, same results. That bird sat there at my door for 4 hours. I had | | kids to pick up from school in the next hour, and was at a loss for what | | to do. Finally I called the Animal Control dept of my city. I knew they | | would think I was nuts, but they sent someone out. Their man was particu- | | larly cautious, mostly because by the time he got there, the pigeon was | | gone. Yes gone. Then I saw the bird hiding under the stairway beneath me. | | I pointed it out, but the guy didn't see it..at least at first... and he | | looked at me as if I were a raving lunatic. Finally he saw it, captured it| | and saved me. But, it's true, you CAN be held hostage by a pigeon! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |Strrrrrrrange BITS!| | * Page 28 * | |-------------------' `----------------| | | | People walk through the house, as they do, they feel something furry | | rub up against their leg. When they look down, nothing is there. Others | | say they have seen the little kitten roaming through the house. They | | all describe it the same way, a little yellow and white kitten. He is | | playful and does no one any harm. | | That is the story of the haunted house of Midland Park. The house is | | located at 15 Franklin Street, Midland Park, New Jersey. It is a | | beautiful Victorian mansion that was built during the Civil War. The | | porch is pillared and the house has three stories. The typical type | | of home one might find in a movie about a haunted house. | | The present owners are admitted skeptics but still have reported feeling | | warm spots, rather than cold spots, in the house. When a writer from | | the New Jersey area visited the house with his wife, his wife was given | | the additional bonus of not only feeling the warm spots but also getting | | poked, nudged, and elbowed at the foot of the flight of the stairs. The | | foot of the stairs is reportedly one of the favorite spots of the ghost. | | The human ghost that is. | | The former owner states there is more than one ghost haunting this house. | | And she does not mean just the ghost of a human and a kitten but instead | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Strrrrrrrange BITS! | ...continued... | * Page 29 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | | | the ghost of several humans and the kitten. Mrs. Woodlock, the former | | owner, was also a skeptic, though she tried to maintain an open mind on | | the subject. After living in the house for nearly twenty seven years with | | her husband and children she has her own opinions about the ghosts. For | | example, she states that the ghost of the kitten seems to stay in a small | | room on the third floor, more than any place else. Occasionally it is | | seen in other parts of the house and even on the lawn but most of the time | | it can be found in that small room. Mrs. Woodlock says she, at one time | | had four different beds in the room, but the cat seemed not to be upset | | by them. Instead, the kitten left a warm spot on each of them in turn. | | The ghost who nudges, pokes or whatever you wish to call it, is believed | | to be the spirit of Max Crayhay. Max Crayhay was a wealthy businessman | | who lived in the house from 1906 to 1911. In 1911 he was found dead after | | shooting himself in the barn on the property. Mrs. Woodlock is certain | | she has seen his apparition appear in the hallway near the stairs in the | | house. | | Another ghost said to be there is the spirit of an old woman who once | | owned the house. The old woman was robbed one night and while the robbers | | roamed through the house they came upon her and shot and killed her. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. | Strrrrrrrange BITS! | ...continued... | * Page 30 * | |----------------------' `----------------| | | | And yet another spirit Mrs. Woodlock says she saw was that of a small boy. | | She believes it is the spirit of a child who was visiting one of the | | Crayhay children who died in an accident in the house. Mrs. Woodlock says | | this is the only free spirit among the ghosts. She tells of the time she | | woke up in the middle of the night and saw the ghost of an old woman | | hanging over her and then the ghost took a poke at her, hitting her in | | the nose. | | Ghostly lights and sounds have been reported by many over the years. The | | owners and the neighbors alike. There are scores of people who have been | | in and visited the house who have reported their experiences with the | | unseen and sometimes white transparent apparition. | | The house was built in 1864 by a wealthy New York lawyer. It has had | | a number of owners over the years. Crayhay family lived there, even | | after Max's death, from 1906 to 1934. Before the Woodlocks bought it | | in 1952, the house had a string of owners again, none staying for any | | period of time. In 1979 the Woodlocks sold the house to the Fords and | | they still live there. None of the ghosts seem terribly hostile. The | | only incidents reported have been that of poking and once of being poked | | in the nose. The house is not open to the public. | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------' .----------------------------------------------------------------------------. |* DISTRIBUTORS * [Eeeek BITS! (c)1991 Taghadossi/Black] | * Page 31 * | |-----------------------------------------------------------`----------------| |BBS: INTERNATIONAL PHONE: | BBS: DOMESTIC PHONE: | |--------------------------------------|-------------------------------------| |Kakadu Konn. Australia +61 89 480-700 |BoardWatch CO (303)973-4222| |ChatLine Sys. Canada (403)-299-0180 |PineCliff BBS CO (303)642-7463| |Pompeii Euro. Holland +31 340621400 |Connections On-Line CT (203)589-3400| |Gomorra " " +31 340622000 |Reverse Polarity CT (203)589-5717| |Hebo " " +31 347320240 |Inner Dwellings FL (813)645-2032| |Telemos " " +31 30614282 |Reno's Tavern (TCH) HI (808)531-8581| |De Receptenuin " " +31 215510222 |The Final Frontier IL (312)545-7812| |Petticoat " " +31 79524074 |After The Bars IL (312)262-3626| |WilyTec Luxembourg +35 2957555 |Chicago Syslink IL (312)622-4442| |KKB Switzerland +41 31525881 |20/20 TBBS IL (312)769-2020| |NGB " " +41 31536185 |Baud-E-House IL ***Private***| |--------------------------------------|Intimate Mansion IL (708)934-3045| | BBS: DOMESTIC State & Phone: |The Lambda Zone IL (708)696-4298| |--------------------------------------|Level One IL (708)771-0933| |ChattleRanch AZ (602)789-7634 |Golddust Plantation LA (318)424-0375| |U.S. Pompeii CA (213)324-5782 |ACCESS New Orleans LA (504)568-0986| |Changewinds CA (213)519-0784 |Solaris MI (313)581-9110| |The DAG Board CA (213)546-1861 |Fun & Fantasy MI (517)339-4565| |In Touch CA (213)426-7235 |Gaze MN (612)338-4127| |Speed Of Light... CA (213)925-4238 |The Underground NJ (908)892-5510| |Lynzie's Motherboard CA (213)650-0519 |Bytes BBS NV (702)644-1157| |California Connexion CA (415)927-2739 |The Network System NV (702)323-3773| |She's At It Again! CA (619)264-8412 |The Male Stop NY (212)721-4180| |Rendezvous BBS CA (619)689-8550 |Metro International NY (212)831-9280| |Exactus Info.Service CA (707)524-2584 |Bill N' Bob's Place OH (216)741-5888| |Interludes CA (714)828-7093 |Heartbeats OR (503)236-4945| |IntroLine CA (714)871-4687 |The Fun Connection OR (503)753-8431| |The ZOO CA (714)794-3062 |TalkChannel Dall/FTW TX (214)368-1129| |Area 88 CA (818)708-0888 |Modem Addictus Hosp. TX (512)443-8941| |El Dorado CA (818)980-3628 |PC Nowhere TX (713)242-9766| |KBBS CA (818)994-0442 |TalkChannel Houston TX (713)476-5196| |Baud Town CA (818)893-0340 |The Midnight Express UT (801)328-4710| |Modem Butterfly's CA (818)842-6900 |The Midnight Exp. II UT (801)328-0748| |Bob Koster's FAB.BBS CA ***Private*** |28 Barbary Lane WA (206)525-2828| |Sunshine Daydream CA (213)375-3962 |The Void II WI (608)837-3470| |----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | DISTRIBUTORS: Remember to check YOUR LISTING for inaccuracies. Report any| | to The Editor #5 on Beyond Eternity (213)-371-3734 or (213)-370-9464 ASAP! | `----------------------------------------------------------------------------'