Buy back issues of Computer Shopper
Invent super glue that doesn't stick to skin
Buy a collection of 8-track tapes
Party on a weeknite
Hire a private tutor to teach you Bangladese
Purchase a Yugo and put a V-12 in it
Buy out a department store's stock of last year's unsold calendars
Rent a billboard and put your dog's name on it
Build a shrine to Bill Gates
Hire a caterer for a funeral
Test the entire city of Moscow for radon
Pay people to help you colonize Antarctica
Go to a party and bring three kegs of non-alcholic beer
Inquire at local 24-hour restaurants as to why they have locks on the doors
Switch the keys on all your friend's keyboards
Buy four 55-gallon drums filled with cow mucous
Go to a seminar on the psychological impacts of candy cigarettes on children
Order a $15.99 mouse
Give up Lent for Lent
Buy an American car
Saran-wrap your house
Purchase a blender and grind floppy disks up in it
Put a 5 1/4-inch disk in a 3 1/2-inch drive
Rewire the inside of your computer, then turn it on to see what happens
Buy the entire selection of a large shareware vendor
Register all your shareware programs
Start a 100-node BBS
Buy a UNIVAC computer (if you can find one)
Take apart a compact disc player, then try to put it back together
Try cryogenics with your neighbor's cat
Purchase 3,000 copies of 'A Guide To Deer Farming In Vermont'
Get hair implants on the bottom of your feet
Have your ears tatooed with 'I Love Burritos'
Buy a dinosaur skeleton and put it next to your mailbox
Purchase and hand out monochrome monitors for free
Hold an archaelogical dig in your own backyard
Build a 9,600 baud modem for the Commodore 64
Buy 1,000 copies of the Swimsuit Issue, censor them, and hand them out
Drop globs of melted solder onto your computer's motherboard while it's on
Develop contact lenses for dogs
Buy expensive paintings and give them to blind people
Purchase 20 heavy-metal tapes and give them to your grandma for Christmas
Buy a few thousand Willie Nelson tapes and hand them out to headbangers
Hire a teacher to train you in the art of gazebo building
Try to make toxic chemicals from household products
Feed the neighbor's dog six or seven candy bars
Set all your clocks to Tokyo time
Build a device that will make pacemakers go crazy
Try to make a car engine out of concrete
Put piranahs in your mother-in-law's toilet
Buy a large stock of used batteries
Make a mobile garden in the back of a pickup truck
Hire gladiators to battle in your back yard while you barbecue chicken
Bribe Nintendo to let you be a character in Street Fighter III
Buy a powerful truck that gets 100 feet per gallon
Hire somebody to scrape wads of gum off your sidewalk
Make your basement into a giant swimming pool
Wallpaper the outside of your house
Make your own home theatre...and sell expensive popcorn there
Have all your meals catered