Subject: Satellite of Love News #8

From: [email-masked] (Rich Kulawiec)
Date: Sun, 17 Nov 91 20:42:05 EST

[ A note from your editor: I'm going to do a bit more editing on
submissions in order to keep the size down; those of you who have
sent things in have already noticed that I'm fairly ruthless with
signatures. :-)  I'm also making arrangements to take advantage
of a generous offer of an FTP site, which will enable items such
as back issues, GIFs, episode lists, transcriptions, etc., to be stored
in a location where they're easily accessible by a large portion of
the membership of the mailing list.

Finally, this issue and the next should suffice to clear a bit of a
backlog that has accumulated; after sending these out, I'll probably
spend some time working on materials for the archive, so that I can
send out a table-of-contents for it in the subsequent issue.

"He tried to kill me with a forklift!"

---Rsk ]

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Item 1:
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From: [email-masked] (Montykins)
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 91 16:19:20 PST
Subject: Transcriptio-mania! [Blinding lights from "Mighty Jack"]

Well, since I have this transcription sitting around from Mighty Jack,
I herewith present:

"The 'The-Lights-Are-Enough-To-Blind-You' Host Segment From Mighty Jack"

Joel: Guys? Hey, guys . . . What's ha - - Hey! Whoa! I knew you were gonna
do this to me! Would you get this thing off my head?

Tom Servo: Silence, fool! Silence!

Crow: Meow!

TS: Thank you. There, there, Flopsy. You'd better tell me what we want to
know. The lights in there are capable of blinding you.

C: Ah ha haaa.

J: Oh, that doesn't bother me. I'll just keep my eyes shut.

TS,C: Dohhh!

TS: Foiled again!

C: Boy, is he smart!

TS: Well, you can say that agai - - would you knock it off, you're supposed
to be a cat!

C: Uh, meow.

TS: Thank you.

C: You - - sure.

TS: Okay.

J: Hey, would you guys hurry up? It's hot in here!

C: Joel, aren't you just the tiniest bit curious about those blinding lights?
Don't you want to peek just a little bit? Ha ha ha haaaaa!

J: No.

C: Hey, like I said, he's smart!

TS: Oh, BOY. Guess all of those swimsuit pictures on the wall are going to
go completely to waste, aren't they.

C: And I guess you wouldn't even be interested in the rare Paul Klee painting
on the wall either. Ha ha haa!

J: Oh, you guys don't have a Paul Klee painting.

TS: _Boy_ is he smart.

C: Yeah, the guy is smart.

TS: Aren't you supposed to be my cat?

C: I, um, Meow.

TS: Thank you.

C: Sure, I'm sorry.

TS: Geez. Oh, I got an idea. Joel! I seem to have misplaced the Hope Diamond.
Would you look around in there for me?

J: Oh, it's not in here.

C: Well, did you even look?

J: _No_. I'm not going to.

TS: Boy is he smart.

C: Smart is the word.

TS: Uh, Plan B.

C: Plan B. Plan B. Plan B. Okay. Uh, Joel!

J: Yeah?

C: I hate to get tough, but inside that box with you is a poisoned
sammich.

TS: Yeah!

J: Uh . . . I just won't eat it!

C: Dohh! Foiled again!

TS: You've completely lost the cat thing, haven't you?

C: I admit it, I'm way off script; I've got no idea what I'm doing.

J: Oh, guys, c'mon. Ow!

TS: Well, just - - what - - Whaddayou - -
     [Joel has removed the Blinding Cylinder (tm)]

J: . . . so uncomfortable.

TS: Oh? Has the great Joel Robinsons decided that Fun Time is over now?
Cheesh!

J: Man, what's the matter with - -

TS: Oh, say, Joel - - _don't_ say Hi.

C: Meow!

TS: You-have-got-to-be-kidding-me,-Crow!

C: I'm s - -

J: Hey, Crow, you wanna go get some frozen yogurt or somethi - - Hey, we got
Movie Sign!

 -Paul "Monty" Ashley
    (Well, _I_ enjoyed it . . .)

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Item 2:
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From: [email-masked] (Mike White)
Date: Monday, 4 Nov 1991 09:47:58 EST
Subject: Daddy-O

I'm not sure, but I think I spotted a gaff in Daddy-O that even Joel and the
'bots missed!  During the race sequence, on of the shots shows the image
reversed: the girl is driving from the right side of the car, and the license
plate read backwards (clearly, the print was made from a reversed negative).
Did anyone else see this, or was I suffering from hallucinations brought on by
excessive witticism?

Mike

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Item 3:
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From: [email-masked] (Keith Barrett)
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 91 09:08:44 EST
Subject: Still looking for Entertainment Tonight Show

I'm still looking for someone that may have taped the MST3k segment on
Entertainment Tonight a while back.

Keith Barrett

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Item 4:
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From: <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 91 20:46 EDT
Subject:  MAST3K saves the day!

Thank God for MST3000!

 My brother, my girlfriend and I (Misties all) just got back from Highlander II.
What a cheesy movie. The worst I could find (la la la).
 The only thing that saved our sanity was, well, there WERE three of us, and the
movie WAS bad, so what happened next should be obvious. (Don't worry, the
theater was nearly empty, and we whispered). For those who have seen this
travesty, here are some of our best lines:

"Alert. The maximum security installation has been penetrated by a 1964
Plymouth Grand Fury."

"Why do all the immortals have split ends?"
"They must not have any conditioner on Zeist."
"ZEIST NEEDS CONDITIONER!"

"He's wielding the mighty Plot of Swiss Cheese!"

After the movie... "What we need now is for Cambot to call up all the
continuity problems on Stil-Stor. Clearly, somebody's been four-wheelin'."

Ok, so we didn't sit through it 20 times, rehearsing... Who could?
                                       Bryan Lambert

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Item 5:
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From: <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 5 Nov 91 20:23 EDT
Subject:  Miscellany and Daddy-O Ending

Hey, folks...
    Thanks to all who answered any questions, and here's another:

    Does anybody have the full lyrics to Crow's infamous "Wienerman" song?
Several times, I've heard him sing "I know a wienerman, he owns a wiener van,
he sells me everything from wieners, on down"... Anybody have the whole thing?
    Also, I'd like to report a second sighting of Crow's legs. In "Jungle
Goddess", after Joel cuts through the floor with the "Radio Saw", you see Crow
standing there. Crows got legs!
    Another irrelevent but fun question: I'd like to compile a list of the
following phrases, from Commando Cody:
"Meanwhile, back at the Cody Institute for..."
    I have "Naughty Little Bunnies" and "Scientists Who Get Pummeled", but I
know there are more. Unfortunately, I don't have the complete "Radar Men" saga
on tape.
    Also, I called Best Brains, like I talked about last time, and they were
VERY nice and VERY helpful. I don't know how they feel about us Misties buggin'
them, though, so that's all I'm gonna say. But my permission slip is in the
mail!
    Are any of the Misties on this list from Connecticut? Specifically, Danbury
area, and interested in circulating tapes and filling in the gaps in our
relative collections? I realize that MST3K isn't widely available in CT, and
not at ALL in Danbury, but I thought I'd ask.
    And now, by request, here is the wonderful ending sequence to "Daddy-O",
where the button breaks. I actually had this on tape before they re-showed it,
but I'm glad they repeated it, cause it's a classic episode.
                                             Bryan Lambert
                              "Phil! Phil! Wake up! The camera's on!"

ENDING TO "DADDY-O"
F) Frank   DF) Dr. Forrester
CREDITS - Credits roll through several names, then return to Deep 13.

DF) Push the button, Frank.
F)  Want some? (Dr. Forrester slaps apple out of Frank's hand)
DF) Push the button, Frank.
F)  No, really, I insist. (Dr. F. slaps orange)
DF) Push the button.
F)  Have one. (Canteloupe)
DF) Push the button, Frank.
F)  You're not getting enough to eat! (Pineapple)
DF) Push the button, Frank!
F)  No, have some. (Watermelon)
DF) Push the button.
--Frank goes to push the button, Dr. F. holds up an apple.--
DF) Want some?
--Frank goes to slap the apple, checks swing, and they hug.
DF) Push the button, Frank.
--------CREDITS------
--"Miracle Growth Baby" is at the keyboard.
DF) What the sand scratch is going on here?
	[ I believe that's "Sam Scratch", an alias for the devil. ---Rsk ]
F)  He's playing with the button... Isn't that cute?
--Dr. F. leads baby away.
DF) C'mon, there you go... Push the button, Frank.
F)  Oh, he's talking!
--------CREDITS------
--Frank, fidgeting and looking VERY nervous.
--Dr. Forrester enters, slowly.
F)  I think it's on.
DF) I think so. Push the button, Frank.
--Frank pushes button, tentatively.
--------CREDITS------
F)  Uh, Dr. Forrester...It's not working.
F)  It's not working (whispered to camera)
DF) Well, no wonder, your baby's got strained carrots all over the keyboard.
    You're just going to have to hold the key down, Frank. I've got to go
    change him.
F)  But he's got to WANT to change!
DF) Hold the button down, Frank.
--------CREDITS------
--Frank has let up on the button to drink some water...
DF) FRANK!!!!!!!
--Frank spit-takes all over the keyboard.
--------CREDITS------
--Frank is speaking to one of the mole men, who is holding a pizza.
F)  No, YOU'VE got the problem. I'm only paying you half price for that cause
    it took you over 30 days to burrow here with that pizza.
DF) FRANK!!!
--------CREDITS------
--Everybody is off-screen.
DF) Frank?
F)  Mm-hmm?
DF) What are you doing?
F)  I was just... getting a piece of water...
DF) A piece of water?
F)  I mean... a slice of cake...
DF) Come here, come here. Let me show you something.
--They enter, with Dr. F. twisting Frank's earlobe.
--Dr. F. points to the button.
--------CREDITS------
--Frank and Dr. F. are filthy and holding tools. The keyboard is torn apart.
DF) Well, that's it, Frank. We're licked.
F)  Dr. Forrester, I've known you to be many things, but I've never known you
    to be a quitter. Are you going to give up now? LIVE, DAMMIT! LIVE!!!
DF) Oh! I remember now. Alt-Function-7.
---------CREDITS ROLL COMPLETELY, AT LAST-----------

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Item 6:
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From: [email-masked] (Ed Hughes)
Date: Tue, 5 Nov 91 08:59:18 EST 
Subject: "Pants Up" corrections

Rich--

Well, thank God somebody else wrote down the "Pants Up Song"!
I've got only a couple of corrections to the pant brands that
Joel rattles off.  Here goes (original posted line starts with >):

>Dadilac Farrah Levis Bugle Boys
Dad 'n Lad, Farrahs,...

>Zanzibar Chinos Haggar Brand Roys
Sans-a-Belt, Chinos, Haggar, Ban-Rol,

[ Your editor interrupts at this point to admit that he did not know what
"Chinos" were until someone explained the reference in the lyrics to
Billy Joel's "Keepin' the Faith to him.  ---Rsk ]

>JOEL:   Hike, Hike, Hike, up your Ban Rolls
                                   Ban-Rols

>        Hike, Hike, Hike, up your Robots
                                   Roebucks

>        Hike, Hike, Hike, up your Tuffskins
                                   Toughskins

That's it!

--Ed

Tom:  Meanwhile, our hero stopped at a Stuckey's to get a 
      salted nut roll!
Crow: Oooh, I love those!

--MST3000, "Daddy-O"

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Item 7:
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From: [email-masked] (Ed Hughes)
Date: Mon, 11 Nov 91 17:42:07 EST 
Subject: "Teenage Caveman" out of sequence

Looks like the "Teenage Caveman" episode must have been 
taped before the "Viking Women vs. the Sea Serpent" episode.
During VWSS, the bots kept making comments like "Oh, that's
the tree from 'Teenage Caveman'" and so on.  Also, if I
remember correctly VWSS had the "Godzilla water-skiing"
clip during the intro while TC had the old "Crawling Eye"
clip again.

On a related note, the cave from "Teenage Caveman" was the
same cave used in "Robot Monster."  Maybe Roger Corman
owned that land?  That makes three movies (so far) that he
filmed on it.  A slag heap to call his very own... :->

--Ed

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Item 8:
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From: Lynn-Anne Friese <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 91 11:49:55 CST
Subject: Calling Best Brains

To the person who asked about calling Best Brains for permission to
show MST3K episodes:

I see no problem with you calling them about it.  Everyone who I've
spoken with thus far at Best Brains has been extremely nice and helpful,
so I don't see them minding at all if you give them a call about it.
As a matter of fact, someone else had approached me with a similar
question (he wanted to show episodes at a sci-fi convention he was
on the committee of), and I called Best Brains to see what would be the
best thing to do in the situation.  I was told to just have him call
directly and talk to Alex Carr, since she handles such things.
The number is available from Minneapolis information (area code 612),
so you can just ask for the number for Best Brains in Eden Prairie.

--
Lynn-Anne Friese
mixcom!ccwwcc%uunet.uu.net
[email-masked]

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Item 9:
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From: Paul Andrew Sabourin <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 91 11:54:55 EST
Subject: Random stuff

Some random responses to and comments on SOL #7:

>--from "Viking Women and the Sea Serpent":
>C: Jelly waffles suit me fine!
Thank you for transcribing this...I've been trying for days to get meaning
out of what I thought Crow  had said: "Chili waffles: soupy, fine!"
(Well, it *almost* makes sense...)

>Also, this is to everybody, but especially Lynn-Anne Friese, since
>she's done it... how responsive are Best Brains to phone calls, and
>can I get their number from Information?

[ See above (which you probably already did!) ---Rsk ]

Good question; I second it. I just worry that posting this might cause
the more zealous, less diplomatic types out there to inundate the MST
staff with "You guys are great! Is Joel there?" types of calls. (Then
again, none of us are that type, are we...?  :-)  ) But I would like to
know the number myself for similar, business-related reasons.

[...]

Next, regarding the numerous requests for GIF files of Joel and the gang,
I submit the following  excerpt from a letter my brother sent me a few days ago:
>Speaking of MST3k -- our graphics group has this huge video monster machine,
>and if I hit enough buttons randomly, I can sometimes work it enough to get
>GIF files from a VHS tape. I'll have to remember to set the vcr tomorrow...

Then, in my reply, I said:
> numerous people are desperately seeking GIF files from MST -- you could
> be their savior if you made some and posted them to an ftp site  

And, in his reply back:
>Then I shall do my Duty for The Net! Look for something late next week.

[ An FTP has been/is being arranged; details in the next newsletter. ---Rsk ]

So there you have it...if you have any requests, send them to him at
[email-masked] (he loves  to get mail). I don't know if he's on
the MST mailing list, though. 

[ He's not. ---Rsk ]

Finally, a couple of requests;
1) The first MST3000 episode I ever saw was "Catalina Caper" but I didn't
tape it. I remember a  seemingly endless slew of puns and variations whenever
anyone said the name "Mr. Thermopolis" (or something like that). Has anyone
compiled a list of these? I'd love to see it.

2) Could someone post the lyrics to the "Gamera" song sung by Joel & the
Bots in "Gamera vs.  Zigra"? Forgot to tape that one too...
Both the English and "Japanese" versions would be great (all I can
remember is "Hirohito Gamera,  Hirohito Gamera...." what else was there?).

Thanks a lot, and sorry about the length. See you on Friday morning
(and early Sat. morning, and  late Sat. morning, and Sat. night...),

Paul.
ObQuote:  "You might want to wash that; that's my throwing arm."
	-Joel (I think),  "Time of the Apes"

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Item 10:
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From: [email-masked] (vernon w l)
Date: Fri, 8 Nov 91 10:12:10 EST
Subject: The missing Gamera films

A small bit of news, I get a catalog every other month from a video
tape/laser disc place in CA. They just recieved new movies. They now
have about 5 Gamera films. The one I don't think that Joel & co. has    
done is Gamera the Invincible. So that and Gamera '79 that I mentioned
before would be the two missing Gamera films.

[email-masked]

"I know a wiener man, he has a hot dog stand" -- Crow

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Item 11:
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From: [email-masked]
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 91 13:18:14 -0500
Subject: Turkey Day!

I'm going to try to grab all these items on tape and I've got two VCRs so it
won't be too bad.  The only bad part is choosing between using SLP mode and
saving on tapes or using SP mode and buying 14 or 15 tapes!  However, since
the ONLY tape I have so far is of Gamera vs. Zigra, it's about time I get
on the stick.

Anyone know where I can get tapes cheaply?

--JRP [Feel free to post to [email-masked]]

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Item 12:
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From: [email-masked]
Date: Tue, 05 Nov 91 00:29:34 EST
Subject: Re: MST3000 Mailing List

        LOVE the mailing list! Granted, it's a bit wearing when I have to 
scroll through the ten bilionth reciting of the theme show lyrics, but hey, 
it's part'o the package.

[ Soon to be fixed. ---Rsk ]

        Just to confirm something here. As far as I know, Comedy Central is 
running MST3000 on Fridays at 10 a.m. EST (a rerun, usually first or second 
seasons), and Saturdays at 10 a.m. and 7 p.m. (new shows or this season's at 
any rate). However, someone else mentioned air times such as Saturday at 1 
ayem, and apparently other people get the show through other sources.

        So, what's the story? How can I effectively complete my MST3000 
collection by knowing just when the shows are on? And wat's this I hear about 
Comedy Central becoming a subscription service-- paying for cable's bad 
enough, and we've had to ditch HBO (they've been running movies from 
Forrester's vault, methinks), and the _only_ reasons we keep cable is good 
reception on Star Trek: the Next Generation and Mystery Science Theater 3000.

[ I had not heard that CC might become a subscription service; I certainly
hope not, but I would pay for it and drop HBO. ---Rsk ]

        Oh, and the show is definitely rubbing off-- when my roommate and I 
sit and talk back at "Henry V" and "Silence of the Lambs," you _know_ we've 
got the habit in a bad way.

        One movie Joel and the 'bots ought to have a go at-- the Bo Derek 
travesty "Tarzan the Ape Man." Not only does it sport Miles O'Keefe in miles 
of vacuous, dopey footage, it also has Richard Harris chewing up the scenery 
and end credits over a chimpanzee who appears to be trying to bugger poor 
Miles. Best line came up when Bo's riding a boat to the jungle.

        "What kind of boat is that?" I say.
        "A tramp steamer, obviously," says the roommate. I tell you, it's 
MADE for MST3000.

Best regards, Brian Siano.

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Item 13:
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From: [email-masked] (Patrick Fitzgerald)
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 91 11:13:11 CST
Subject: MST3k - response to newsletter 7

[ In re the Turkey Day marathon... ]

I've been taping in SP and stereo, and I already have most of the
episodes that will be shown on Thanksgiving.  I don't have any plans
for Thanksgiving, so I'm going to make sure that I get them all.  I
have 21 tapes so far, but I have only one VCR.  So, in order to
duplicate them and send them out, I would have to borrow or rent a
VCR.  But I would be willing to do so (for a limited # of tapes).

Patrick Fitzgerald, [email-masked]

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Item 14:
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From: [email-masked] (vernon w l)
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 91 8:37:51 EST
Subject: Miscellaneous questions/transcription wanted

Well I am a lonely little university student who won't be able
to make it home for thanksgiving. I shall have to spend my thanksgiving
alone in Wilmington, NC. The good news? I'll be able to see turkey day
and get some MST's I'm missing. (Real Tragedy huh?) Okay, now a few ?'s
1) Is the crawling hand a sequel to the crawling eye? (haven't seen eye)
2) Could someone transcribe the words to 'Creepy Girl' (from Catalina
Caper) and 'Tibby' (from Gamera) When I do visit home my brother        
confiscates my MST tapes. (my whole family is addicted) I'll send the 
words to 'Clown In The Sky' as soon as I remember what Servo says.
3) Whats the latest on the FTP site?

[ Under construction; more in the next newsletter. ---Rsk ]

L8R,
	Bill

[email-masked]

"Will there still be a clown in the sky, for me"
	Joel Robinson

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Item 15:
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From: [email-masked] (Keith Barrett)
Date: Mon, 4 Nov 91 08:18:56 EST
Subject: MST3k SOLN submission

To be safely deliverable to most sites, the newsletter should fit within
50k (32k if anyone from apple.com is on the mailing list). Personally,
I don't think they are too big at all and look forward to every issue - the
size helps make up for the fact that they aren't daily ;-)

[ Yup, I'm aware of the 50K limit, and the painful 32K limit inside
apple.com, which does not seem to believe in getting their Mac-based
mail-reading software to be compliant with the rest of the world. ---Rsk ]

In fact, I'd like to suggest that on those times where the newletter seems
to be short, that you include a UUENCODE/UUSHAR version of a GIFs.

[ I think I'll probably put them in the FTP archive instead; if we can
arrange for them to be made available to those people w/o FTP access
as well, then I can keep the mailings that much smaller. ---Rsk ]

My desire is not to see the newsletter shortened, but I could be out voted.

Keith Barrett

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Item 16:
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From: [email-masked]
Date: Mon, 11 Nov 91 10:49:24 EST
Subject: Mst3k Affecting Me

 This is my first posting to the list, and I thought I'd ask a simple
question...

      IS THIS SHOW AFFECTING ANYONE ELSE LIKE IT DOES ME?

 Case in point, my buddies (none of whom like Mst3k) and I (who love
the show) are watching the movie "King Of New York". There's a scene
where a guy is talking in a phone booth when suddenly 3 goons jump
out and shoot him up with machine guns right there in the booth. Almost
on cue, in a perfect Crow voice, I say "You're not dealing with AT+T!"
Immediately the whole crew breaks up into peals of laughter.
 I find myself doing this more and more now...talking in the movies, but
only if they're lousy (you can imagine what I did to Highlander 2!) But
has anyone else taken up this practice?
 Does anyone else have a good MST3k story of this nature, I think it'd
be fun to hear them along with all the song lyrics and what not.
 Also, does anyone have the complete "Love song to Tibby"?

                     Al, Tom Servo's #1 Fan

ps> Keep this in mailer form, please. Or I won't be able to get it!

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Item 17:
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From: Johnny Klonaris <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 8 Nov 91 10:57:35 PST
Subject: Ford Beebe

So, I gets me new copy of Fantasia the other night, and while watching
the credits, I notice something interesting....

There were three directors for the Beethoven Pastoral Symphony section.
And guess who the third one was:   Ford Beebe 

  (Ford Beebe Ford Beebe Ford Beebe Ford Beebe Ford Beebe Ford Beebe)

Johnny Klonaris

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Item 18:
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From: [email-masked]
Date: Fri, 8 Nov 91 16:49 EST
Subject: keep circulating the tapes...

My wife and I are big fans of Mystery Science Theatre 3000, but
unfortunately our cable company doesn't carry it.  Thus we are
forced to beg from our few friends whose cable does have MST3K.  
This medium of getting our MST fix is not the most reliable, and is
worthless for getting our grubby hands on episodes that were shown a
while ago.  Who do I contact to get on the "keep circulating the
tapes" list?  Thanks a lot.

Chris Riley
[email-masked]

[ Hey, folks, how about lending a hand? ---Rsk ]

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Item 19:
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From: May a moody baby doom a yam? <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 11 Nov 91 13:04:19 PST
Subject: Who does which voice & closing credits

> From: Chuck Tomasi <[email-masked]>
>
> I haven't been trying to figure out who is doing what Robot's voice for
> the first season, but it wasn't until a slipup at a commercial break
> that Servo says "That was awful" did I notice that it sounded just like
> Dr. Erhardt.  Then I put two and two together and found that Servo's
> voice change and Frank's introduction were not coincidental.

Doesn't anybody watch the closing credits?  They explicitly list who does what
voice.  If I remember correctly (since I'm sending this from work), the current
voice of Tom Servo is Kevin Murphy.  Frank is played by someone else, no?
(Frank Conniff?)  And Dr. Forrester and Crow are one and the same, i.e., Trace
Beaulieu (sp).

Tom Servo's voice was originally done by Josh Weinstein, if I remember the 
credits for the 1989 shows correctly, and he also played Larry the assistant.

The moral of the story is: Lots of questions can be answered if you read the
closing credits.  :-)

							-- Nina Eppes