Subject: Satellite of Love News #2
From: [email-masked] (Rich Kulawiec)
To: [email-masked]
Date: Fri, 6 Sep 91 11:49:17 EDT

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Item 1:
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From: rsk
Subject: Further growth of mailing list/thoughts on newsgroup

Well, the mailing list has approximately doubled in size since the
first issue; there are about 80 folks on it at the moment.  I'm really
surprised at just how many MST3K fans are out there; I had no idea it
was so well-known!

Some folks have suggested that we create a newsgroup for MST3K-related
material.  I'm not so sure that's a good idea --- here's why:

1. Some of the people on the mailing list don't get Usenet news, so
the material would have to be gatewayed bidirectionally between the newsgroup
and various mailers in order to keep them involved...which means that there
will be a mailing list anyway.

2. Latest estimates put the number of Usenet sites at something like N X 10^5,
where values for N range between 1 and 10.  This means that each 1 Kbyte
article (and it's hard to make them smaller than that, due to the overhead
of the headers added by news software) will occupy something in excess of
10 Mbytes of disk space net-wide if it's posted to a net-wide newsgroup.
Contrast this with the 80 Kbytes that each 1 Kbyte article occupies net-wide
(in various machines' mail spool directories).  In terms of total use of
resources, it's not space-effective to have a newsgroup until there are
a *lot* of us.

3. Creating a newsgroup in the "regular" Usenet hierarchies (comp, misc,
news, rec, sci, soc, talk) requires an elaborate voting process -- which
is currently undergoing heated debate (see news.admin).  It doesn't look
like there are enough of us to get a newsgroup created via this process,
and just now is not a particularly good time anyway.

4. Creating a newsgroup in the "alt" hierarchy could be easily done --
I could send the newgrp control message anytime.  But there is a great
deal of discussion going on (not on Usenet, but via mail) between some
of the news admins at major sites about just what to do with the "alt"
hierarchy, which has gotten out of hand.  (E.g. the huge volume in the
alt.sex.* groups, the newgrp/rmgrp wars, etc.)   It would probably be
a good idea not to depend on the "alt" hierarchy to distribute MST3K
material.  (Yes, I know I'm being vague.  No, I don't want to get into the
details of all the discussions just now.  Yes, I am a former member of
The Evil Backbone Cabal -- I was the news admin for Purdue's computing
center for a long time.  No, I'm not one of the original news authors --
I've only been on Usenet since about 1981. ;-) ) 

I could go on, but I think that's enough.  My guess is that we're better
off as a mailing list, for a while.  Comments?

---Rsk

"...we cannot let this be the end." "OH, YES WE CAN!"
	--- "Rocket Attack USA"

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Item 2:
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From: Lynn-Anne Friese <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 23 Aug 91 19:57:03 CDT
Subject: MST3K: Satellite of Love News #1

Hi there!

I received "SOLN#1" today and just had a few comments about a couple
things in it.

First, regarding the episode guide...  I made up an episode guide of sorts
a few months back.  It consisted of the titles of films viewed on the
show, whether they were b&w or color, their year of release (if available),
and a brief description of the film.  I've been planning to add more info
to this list and make a more complete episode guide but I was wondering
what types of info should be included.  I've thought of adding things like
inventions, host segments, and serials to make the episode descriptions
more complete, but was wondering whether putting such info on the list
would spoil the episodes for those who have yet to see them.  Any ideas
or comments?  Let me know!  I'd really like to put this together.

[ This sounds terrific to me - and I don't think it would spoil things,
'cause a lot of MST3K7's humor derives from the predictability of the
films that they lampoon.  How about sending along what you have so far,
and then everyone else can mail you their contributions? ---Rsk ]

Second, regarding those who were interested in getting copies of episodes
they're missing, etc...  I have all of the episodes on tape and have
been making copies for people all over the country since early this year.
If anyone out there needs copies of their own, feel free to let me know
and we can make arrangements.

--
Lynn-Anne Friese
mixcom!ccwwcc%uunet.uu.net
[email-masked]

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Item 3:
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From: [email-masked] (Lance Visser)
Date: Sat, 24 Aug 91 12:26:45 -0500
Subject: Re:  Satellite of Love News #1

The original Love Theme to MST 3000

In the not too distant future,
Next (someday?) AD,
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different than you or me,
He worked in a satellite loading bay,
Just polishing switches to pay his way,
He did his job well with a cheerful face,
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space.

We'll send him cheezy movies,
The worst ever made,
Joel says when you have lemons, you make lemonade,
Now keep in mind he can't control when the movies begin or end,
Because he used those (extra?) parts to make his robot friends.

Robot roll-call.....
Cambot....Servo....Gypsy....Crowwwww

If you're wondering how he eats and breaths or other science facts,
Then repeat to yourself it's just a show, you really should relax.
....for Mystery Science Theater 3000.

This is the theme from the "red set" or second season era of MST3000.
I never watched the first season "blue set" era so I can't really say
what was used then.  For clarity, these are the Minneapolis KTMA seasons.

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Item 4:
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From: [email-masked] (Steve Robert)
Date: Sat, 24 Aug 1991 17:58:45 PDT
Subject: MST3K info club contents

Well, I can tell you what *I* got.

A piece of paper enclosing several other sheets, marked 
"Classified - containstop secret MST 300 Fan club material"
When you unfold it, the inside is the 

"MST 3000 'MOVIE SIGN' Home Viewing Simulator (MSHVS)", which has 
the familiar picture of theater seats and Joel and the bots at the
bottom, with the instructions 
	
	1) Cut out
	2) Tape to your TV screen
	3) Say stupid (but clever) things

The sheets contained inside are:

A list of episodes for seasons 1 and 2

The lyrics to Love Theme

The MST3K Technical Journal Vol 1 No 1 and Vol 1 No 3

"Sparko!" The best brains wacky rolling action figure (a really crude
cut-out that you're supposed to tape together and put on top
of a marble)

The MST3K Price Rebel Icon merchandise temple catalogue.

Your official MST3K fan club card, which is a full 8 1/2 by 11
  (really convenient for wallets)

The MST3K Satellite News (formerly The Binding Polymer), with letters
  and an interview with Crow.

-- 
Steve Robert, UCSF, Box 0100, S.F.,Ca. 94143  (415) 476-1059

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Item 5:
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From: [email-masked] (Steve Robert)
Date: Sat, 24 Aug 1991 17:59:26 PDT
Subject: MST3K Episode guide for seasons 1 and 2

Here's the episode guide for seasons 1 and 2:

[ Steve, you might want to talk to Lynn-Anne about the episode guide
that she's assembled. ---Rsk ]

101 The Crawling Eye
102 The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy
103 Mad Monster
104 Women of the Prehistoric Planet
105 Corpse Vanishes
106 The Crawling Hand
107 Robot Monster
108 The Slime People
109 Project Moonbase
110 Robot Holocaust
111 Moon Zero Two
112 Untamed Youth
113 Black Scorpion

201 Rocketship XM
202 The SideHackers
203 Jungle Goddess
204 Catalia Caper
205 Rocket Attack U.S.A.
206 Ring of Terror
207 Wild Rebels
208 Lost Continent
209 Hell Cats
210 King Dinosaur
211 First Spaceship on Venus
212 Godzilla vs. Megalon
213 Godzilla vs. The Seamonster

-- 
Steve Robert, UCSF, Box 0100, S.F.,Ca. 94143  (415) 476-1059

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Item 6:
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From: [email-masked] (Mark J Simpson)
Date: Mon, 2 Sep 91 00:18:40 EST
Subject: MST3K -- end speech: It Conquered the World.

just in case someone wanted to know...

>From _It_Conquered_the_World_:

	"He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature,
and because of it, the greatest in the Universe.  And he learned too
late for himself that men have to find their own way and make their
own mistakes.  There can't be any gift of perfection from outside
ourselves.  And when men seek such perfection they find only death,
fire, loss, disillusionment, the end of everything that's gone
forward.  Men have always sought and end to toil and misery.  But it
can't be given, it has to be achieved.  There is hope, but it has to
come from inside man himself."

[ Geez, now I'm all mushy.  That really gets me right *here* (makes
international sign for choking). ---Rsk ]

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Item 7:
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From: [email-masked] (Alex Bost)
Date: Wed, 4 Sep 91 15:15:49 EDT 
Subject: MST3K: Article

Here is an article for your Mailing List:

	From _Entertainment Weekly_, August 16, 1991 Issue:
	[reprinted wothout permission]

"Crummy Movies, Funny Jokes" 
Lips and Laughs on Cable's Clever _Mystery Science Theatre_
by Benjamin Svetkey

It's only a cheesy Japanese Monster movie - the dialogue is dopey, the 
dubbing a disaster, and the special effects look as if they were slapped 
together with spit and rice paper - but Joel Hodgson is sitting in a
Minneapolis suburb watching "Godzilla vs. Megalon" with the adoring eyes
of a film student scrutinizing Fellini's "Satyricon."

"We're *thrilled* to have this movie," gushes the 31-year-old host and
creator of _Mystery Science Theatre 3000_ (Comedy Central, Saturdays,
7-9pm), cable TV's goofy B-movie send-up.  "Godzilla is a *major* star."

Hipper than _Saturday Night Live_, cooler than _Arsenio Hall_, filled 
with more pop references than _The Andy Warhol Diaries_, MST is the 
perfect postmodern comedy.  The concept is a hoot:  Hodgson and his 
robot sidekicks, Tom Servo and Crow, have been shot into space by mad 
scientists who force them to watch crummy old movies.  As stinkers like
"The Slime People," "Jungle Goddess," and "Rocket Attack, U.S.A."         
unspool in front of them, the trio sits in silhouette, on the corner of 
the TV sreen and lets loose a stream of jeering one-liners.  "How do we 
stand on fuel?" an astronaut asks in "Rocket Ship X-M."  "I'm for it!"
comes the off-screen answer.  A bride collapses on the altar in "The 
Corpse Vanishes".  "I'm Getting Buried in the Morning" sings the hecklers.

Now in its third season, MST is fast becoming one of cable's fastest cult
hits.  TIME named it one of cable's top 10 TV shows, and fans have been 
even more effusive:  "I think it's one of the funniest shows on the air," 
offers Dan O'Shannon, a supervising producer on _Cheers_.  "It canonizes 
something we all do, which is talk back to our TV sets.  It's definitely 
on the cutting edge of comedy.

That "cutting edge" first took shape on a tiny UHF station in Minnesota,
where Hodgson settled after abandoning a successful stand-up career in 
L.A.  "I was on _Late Night_, doing guest spots on _SNL_, NBC was offering
me a sitcom," he recalls.  "All of my dreams were coming true, but I was
*really* unhappy."  So he beelined it back to Minneapolis and took a 
string of odd jobs - ironing decals onto T-shirts, building and selling 
puppets.

Then, in 1988, Minneapolis' KTMA-TV approached him looking for new ideas,
and on Thanksgiving Day,MST made its local debut.  "The station got great 
response," Hodgson says. "The switchboard lit up."  Hodgson sent clips to 
HBO, which snapped up the series for its Comedy Channel (which later 
merged with HA! comedy network to form Comedy Central).  Part of what made 
MST so attractive was its price tag.  The series costs only $50,000 per 
episode (compared with $300,000-$600,000 for network sitcoms).  It uses 
only the cheapest possible movies, and the sets and props are almost all
homemade, including the robots (Tom is made of bits of an old bubble-gum
machine, a penny-bank, and a flashlight; Crow's basic parts are a lacrosse
face mask, a plastic bowling pin, and a soap dish).

Sitting in the screening room at MST's studio, Hodgson and cowriters Trace
Beaulieu, Kevin Murphy, and Mike Nelson are absorbed in their sixth viewing 
of "Godzilla vs. Megalon."  Each of the 800 one-liners per movie is 
practiced over and over until you'd swear every word was ad-libbed.  On the 
monitor, three cars bounce around the streets of Tokyo in a jumpy, ineptly
edited chase sequence.  "Action sequences filmed in Confuso-vision!" 
cracks Murphy.  "You know in France this scene would be considered genius."
Hodgson quips.  "Suddenly, we're watching _Mannix_," sneers Beaulieu.  "You
know, in France Mike Connors is considered a genius," says Hodgson.  "I
haven't seen this much action since 'Herbie Goes to Mexico,'" Murphy jeers.
"You know, in France Dean Jones is considered..."  "JOEL!" the writers 
screech in unison, "SHUUUUUUUTTTTT UP!"

Please, Joel, anything but that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Alexandra Bost          | "That's gravy?!  I thought the dog had 
[email-masked] OR   | gotten sick..." - Tom Servo, MST3000
[email-masked]        |

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Item 8:
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From: Johnny Klonaris <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 4 Sep 91 11:06:49 PDT
Subject: Re: Welcome to the MST3K mailing list...

Hey!  Thanks alot!  This should be great.   You might want to include a
bit more about how this works...   For instance, I gather that things
sent to you won't necessarily be sent right back out - this is probably
good.   What sort of submissions would you like?  Whatever.

[ Yup, I collect what shows up in the mail, and then sit down from time
to time and edit it into one of these digest-ified mailings like you're
reading now.  I tend to fix spelling/grammar as I go through things,
but I don't promise to be a hyperaccurate proofreader because I edit
these as I watch MST3K, and that's more than a little distracting.
(This morning's gem is "The Ring of Death", an appallingly bad movie
which seems to focus mainly on regurgitation during dissection.)
Anyway, one reason for packaging things together is to keep the total
message count low for those folks who have to pay per-letter charges
for e-mail; another is that nearly everything we have to say about
MST3K can afford to wait a week or two, i.e. there are very few things
that are so time-critical that they can't wait to go out with the
rest of the goodies.  So, folks, send along whatever you've got, and
I'll add it to the "pending" pile for the mailing list. ---Rsk ]

We may want a policy on spoilers since many of us are "circulating the
tapes" and get episodes weeks and months later (the most recent I've
seen is Stranded in Space).  Or not - killing a good line or two doesn't
generally hurt too much (though I think I heard "Hey look!  They're
going to the turd museum!" four or five times before I finally saw Wild Rebels.

[ Hmmmm...I'm not too worried about spoilers (see above) but I'd like to
hear from the rest of you on this subject.  One convention that we could
go with would be for me to put letters including spoilers at the end of
each issue and clearly mark them as such, which I don't mind doing --
if that's what y'all want.  Comments?  ---Rsk ]

Anyway...   I've got two goodies to contribute.  Let me know if you're
interested.   What I've got is:

	- Lyrics to Wild Rebels Cereal commercial    

	- Text to the Lights, Gamera, Action commercial from Gamera vs.
	  Baragon.

[ Oh, YES!  Send 'em along.  I've only seen the second one, but it was
hysterical. ---Rsk ]

Thanks again.

--
Johnny Klonaris / HP/DSO 42UN,  	| Note to myself:  Remember
11000 Wolfe Road,  Cupertino, CA  95014 | to carry more life-saving
Internet:   [email-masked]           | liquid.
CompuServe: 75036,1351  Q-Link: jawknee | 
Phone: (hp telnet)/(408) 447-5258       |    -MST3K

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Item 9:
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From: [email-masked] (Steve Robert)
Date: Sat, 24 Aug 1991 17:58:15 PDT
Subject: MST3K minor corrections to theme

Just a couple of minor corrections from the official MST3K red
lyric sheet:

>"Love Theme from Mystery Science Theater 3000"
>
>Next Sunday A.D. [??]
		^^^^^ no need for ?, exactly right

>Now keep in mind Joel can't control
>When the movies start and end (la la la),
		^^^^^^ begin and end

>
>Robot Roll Call: Cambot!  Gypsy!  Tom Servo!  Crooooow!
>

Robot Roll Call ....

Cambot		(pan left)
Gypsy		(hi girl)
Tom Servo	(what a cool guy)
Crooooooooooow  (wisecracker)

[ Ah, so that's what those background voices are saying! ---Rsk ]

-- 
Steve Robert, UCSF, Box 0100, S.F.,Ca. 94143  (415) 476-1059

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Item 10:
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From: [email-masked] (Larry Hastings)
Date: Sat, 24 Aug 91 03:39:18 -0700
Subject: Re: Satellite of Love News #1

You had sent out, as part of your initial mailing, your best stab at the
lyrics to the theme song of MST3k.  Well, just to pick nits, here's
mine:

Theme Song to Mystery Science Theater 3000
Lyrics by Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein

[ There's only one place where this version differed from mine (that is,
in addition to the corrections above), and that was... ]

"He'll have to sit and watch them all  (ooh-hooh-hooooh)
 And the monitor is mine"  (la-la-la)

[ I'm pretty sure that it's "And we'll monitor his mind", partly because
that's what I think I'm hearing, and partly because the previous part of
that verse is phrased in the first person plural; it seems a little odd
to switch to first person singular at that point.  But I could be wrong;
if so, would somebody let me know? ---Rsk ]

--
larry hastings, the galactic funkster, [email-masked]

I don't speak for Knowledge Dynamics or UC Santa Cruz, nor do they speak for me

"...Unlucky bum's screams were muffled by a throatful of his own blood."--MST3k